The Man
Dear Sirs (and Madams who might also secretly be on the judging panel),
In reference to your blogspot invitation for nominations for "The Man" http://themanlists.blogspot.com/:
Ok, well, I just read about the nominations and found the deadline has passed, but I think I know the only possible actual "Man" in the universe. I know you folks at "Find The Man, Inc." will be more than happy to re-open the search knowing full well that you have not found "The Man" yet.
It is possible that Bruce Willis is in contention, but we all know he's a Hollywood hoax and in real life he couldn't possibly do those things we see on film. He gets an honorable mention, to be sure.
Secondly, Inspector Clouseau (or however you spell that crazy endearing Peter Sellers character) comes to mind. After all, he gets dirty, gets the job done to everyone's amazement, he's a hero with a great sense of humor. "Kato, not now." And he is defiitely MALE. But he pales in comparison to the REAL MAN.
Alas, the real "The Man" stays elusive to everyone by living out his manliness in his mild mannered Clark Kentliness. Yes, he gets the job done over and over. He maintains an awesome sense of humor in spite of the zany world he occupies during most of his waking moments. After all, who else could seriously dedicate his career to a bunch of loonies chasing a little ball around a great big field of obstackles (spelling mine honoring the movie "O Brother, Where Art Thou?").
He uses no super power known to man to rise above the abuses he has endured. Among his triumphs over nature we must include several building projects: the PlayTower, and the ability to transform plywood, hay, wooden pallets and outdoor lights into the coveted neighborhood non-radioactive "Nativity Scene". And yet, he is so amazing that he must be fictional. I hereby nominate my hero, plant manager supremo, Mr. Greens, Charles the Magnificent (aka El Magnifico).
You have no idea the arsenal this man keeps at his side, the true ammo used against the insipid foes: from nematodes to Black Holes. He's dirty, he's gritty, he cheerfully endures wifely wallet washing, yes, THE MAN, Charlie Riger! He keeps me laughing and I know there are others out there. You know who you are. This MAN deserves some kind of huge prize.
Yours Adoringly, The Man Fan, One Among Many.....
In reference to your blogspot invitation for nominations for "The Man" http://themanlists.blogspot.com/:
Ok, well, I just read about the nominations and found the deadline has passed, but I think I know the only possible actual "Man" in the universe. I know you folks at "Find The Man, Inc." will be more than happy to re-open the search knowing full well that you have not found "The Man" yet.
It is possible that Bruce Willis is in contention, but we all know he's a Hollywood hoax and in real life he couldn't possibly do those things we see on film. He gets an honorable mention, to be sure.
Secondly, Inspector Clouseau (or however you spell that crazy endearing Peter Sellers character) comes to mind. After all, he gets dirty, gets the job done to everyone's amazement, he's a hero with a great sense of humor. "Kato, not now." And he is defiitely MALE. But he pales in comparison to the REAL MAN.
Alas, the real "The Man" stays elusive to everyone by living out his manliness in his mild mannered Clark Kentliness. Yes, he gets the job done over and over. He maintains an awesome sense of humor in spite of the zany world he occupies during most of his waking moments. After all, who else could seriously dedicate his career to a bunch of loonies chasing a little ball around a great big field of obstackles (spelling mine honoring the movie "O Brother, Where Art Thou?").
He uses no super power known to man to rise above the abuses he has endured. Among his triumphs over nature we must include several building projects: the PlayTower, and the ability to transform plywood, hay, wooden pallets and outdoor lights into the coveted neighborhood non-radioactive "Nativity Scene". And yet, he is so amazing that he must be fictional. I hereby nominate my hero, plant manager supremo, Mr. Greens, Charles the Magnificent (aka El Magnifico).
You have no idea the arsenal this man keeps at his side, the true ammo used against the insipid foes: from nematodes to Black Holes. He's dirty, he's gritty, he cheerfully endures wifely wallet washing, yes, THE MAN, Charlie Riger! He keeps me laughing and I know there are others out there. You know who you are. This MAN deserves some kind of huge prize.
Yours Adoringly, The Man Fan, One Among Many.....
posted by littlemeemz | 10:27 PM
1 Comments:
Mom,
Ummm...ok. Look, we need to clear a few things up here. First of all, what is this business about Bruce Willis not doing the things in the movies? You're joking, right? Everyone knows that the Die Hard movies are documentaries. Willis was going to visit his wife in LA and a camera crew was with him for some family show on the Discovery Channel. And then this whole mess breaks out, and it's all caught on film! The problem is, the government was worried about having a man like Bruce Willis on the loose. And they were even more worried that the people might rally behind him and overthrow their oppressors. So they convinced the producers to make it look like a fictional movie, as opposed to a documentary. You think a Hollywood writer could come up with a catch phrase like "Yipee Kiyay Mother -------". That's all Bruce, all the way, baby. And as an aside, Reginald VelJohnson (Sgt. Al Powell) was originally a cop, and it was his appearance in Die Hard that catapaulted him to his famous role as Carl Winslow in Family Matters. Those of you who watched TGIF, you know who you are.
I thought everyone knew all this?
And lastly, what in the world did you do so bad to Dad that you felt you had to nominate him as The Man? (I've been married long enough to know marital politics here).
3steak
Post a Comment
<< Home